04/07/2022 09:50 AM:
Six years ago I was the most selfish, paranoid, grandiose, manipulative, lying, mean creature. I was lost. I never ate, I shook constantly, had seizures regularly, sweat through my mattress nightly, and saw and heard things that weren't there. I was so angry and afraid. Everything happening to me was someone else’s fault. My parents, my friends, the whole world was to blame. My life was never easy, but I don’t remember Mom and Dad pouring Jack Daniels down my throat.
One day after twelve years of drinking all day I woke up and wanted to fight. I don’t know why that morning was different, but it was. I didn’t want to be anyone else’s bad memory. I wanted to live. My expectations were for less pain for myself and to create less damage to others, but what happened was completely unexpected. Getting sober was extremely hard. I was alone, but I soon learned I didn’t have to be. Sobriety is a battle and a gift. I was taught that early on. Never, ever do battle alone.
A few years ago you read my note and played Prince because I told you about how I found myself dancing listening to you playing Prince. I hadn’t danced for a decade. Now with six years I have something even greater. A gift that comes from the beautiful souls who helped me. Freedom. The moments of freedom came here and there when I was without burden. Being present for the first time in my life was extraordinary. Being right here, right now free, with purpose and outside the bondage of self. So maybe a little George Michael for everyone fighting for a taste of Freedom.
Thank you John for being a part of my sobriety story and I am so sorry for your loss. I recently lost my best friend to this disease and I hate you are in it too. I try to be of service to get out of my sadness and pain. You get to do that so beautifully for an untold number around the world and for that we are all truly grateful.
Thank you Matt. Here's to freedom!